Dear C.O. (Letters from TyTy Vol. 2)

I don’t blame you for the way you are.
I’d like to say I might be different,
but I can’t for sure.

Your job is largely thankless and filled with disrespect and contempt.
It is filled with idealistic notions of Rehabilitation.
Impossible notions.

I wasn’t always #1339440.
I’m barely that now.
Is that all you see when you find the courage to look in my eyes?
Are you uncomfortable seeing more?
You say, “You have only been here a day, how do I remember you already?”
Because when I look at you I see a human being, with a family, with a past,
with a life outside this context.
This is not who you are any more than this is who I am.
That’s what you remember when you see me,
You remember how I treated you.

I am judged here based on some of the worst events of my life.
How would you be judged if your identity was based on a similar sample?

I can look you in the eye and say “thank you.” when you wake me for mail at 1:30 am. Could you?
I can crack a smile when you chain me to a table and say, “Don’t go no where.”
Respect my humanity and I’ll respect your authority.
You will have earned my respect instead of my resentment.
Don’t demand my respect while withholding yours. I’ll never respect you.

You may not see me as more than #1339440.
You may not know me as more than inmate Gall.

By the time I leave you will know me.

You will know Tyler.

You’re probably going to miss me.

Sincerely,

1339440