Dearest of the Dear,
I hope that your Holidays are spent in accordance with your expectations.
Provided, of course, that your expectations are not shitty.
If, in fact, your expectations are shitty, I would like to commend you for managing your expectations well. I would like to offer my most powerful wishes for these Holidays to exceed your expectations and that the spirit of the season stampede through your soul like the cloven hooves of one hundred thousand buffalo.
I hope that these Holidays mark your best ever according to the expectation to reality ratio system discussed herein.
Love,
Tyler
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