Chris Brown

I'm bored with writing this already.  I suppose, though, this is a topical opportunity to say things about a sketchy degenerate.  I can't pass that up.

There's a lot going on here.

I don't care enough about this situation to really spend much time polishing a shiny essay.  Generally, I feel like most of the people who read my blog could predict with astounding accuracy what I think about it and, with a few tweaks, probably agree.

He's obviously a scum bag,


I think it's a lock that most of us would think that even if he hadn't battered a well loved starlet.  I don't know what he deserves, honestly, I don't care.  When a person with talent, wealth and fame still has to act like a spoiled, insecure, fearful piece of shit how could I possibly care?  There's just no way there is a happy ending for this guy... no way.  Nothing has a way of destroying assholes in an incredibly satisfying way like hubris, and this guy has barge loads.  Ordinarily, I'd be gnashing my teeth with anticipation for him to fall off the face of the Earth in an incredibly humiliating way, but this is Chris Brown here, not Saddam Hussein (admit it, you kind of miss him a little).  Realistically, the thing Chris Brown is most famous for the battery of a woman.  If not for that he'd be just another mediocre entertainer or an above average back up dancer.  So, with a little patience you can enjoy watching him burn down his own house... there's no reason to set fire to it.  The worst days of his life are ahead of him, so just have a drink, sit back and completely ignore this degenerate until he's in the news for blowing sex kisses to infants, dog fighting or human trafficking.

Then there's the issue of his loyal, idiot disciples who can't differentiate reality from fantasy.  This is real, this isn't a music video or a lifetime movie.  Romanticizing this as some kind of life's beautiful tragedy is just foolish and irresponsible.  It's like they think this is normal behavior, your average forgivable lapse in judgment, like he took 20 bucks out of your wallet.  Listen, beating women is something I don't fully understand.  I mean, I'll never know what it's like to be afraid in my own home and I'll never know what it's like to be enslaved by someone's violent tyranny, because I'm a 220lb dude with a scruffy beard.  So I can't really speak to what that feels like or how offensive such a public display of battering women must be.  I do know the impact of domestic violence is traumatizing and I do know that beating people up is shitty behavior.  Man, woman, child, animal... plants... whatever... just don't beat on things.  Being pushed to violence says a lot of things, but the loudest of those things is, "I'm too fucking stupid and underdeveloped to handle this situation with my brain... CHARRRRRGE!!"  The people who defend him are a complicated lot, they all have their own reasons that will be a little different than the next, but what they all share is that they are followers, conformists and entirely unremarkable.  Complicated and boring at the same time... how fascinating.

Rihanna has evidently forgiven him and moved on, she clearly needs some sense slapped into her (sorry about that one, sometimes you make a joke and immediately feel bad about it but can't find the strength to delete it, this is one of those times).  She's either incredibly graceful or incredibly stupid, again... I don't care which one.  It's a little silly that anyone is offering that as a reason to let Christopher (I bet he hates it when I call him that, sorry bro) off the hook.  Just because the victim forgives the assailant doesn't exonerate the the offender of their accountability for what happened.  If a jilted lover crept into my home at night and sliced up my man parts they wouldn't be free of accountability just because I said, "Yeah, I probably had that coming."  The genital slicer is still a psycho and Christopher still a woman beater.  Her actions are relevant, but they are an entirely different issue.  Why did this happen?  Because he's an asshole... that's what needs to be fixed before any measure of legitimate healing begins.

I think forgiveness and second chances are a big deal... but you can't forgive someone unless they think they've done something wrong.  He doesn't care, he only cares because his image was damaged.  He's remorseless.  Remorse in action is a prerequisite for forgiveness.  Someday when I die, someone will say... "Tyler was a great guy."  Even if that someone is a trained parrot, that validation will make me inherently better than Chris Brown.  There just aren't any parrots shameless enough to say something like that about Chris Brown.  Parrots respect accountability.

If I were to advise Christopher the first thing I would suggest is an IQ test in the hopes that he might come in under 60 and catch a Mental Retardation diagnosis.  Nobody could be mad at him then.  Talk about pulling a rabbit out of a hat...

"That guy was a dick." - Chris Brown's Parrot