There is so little I want to say, about anything.
I have said less out loud in the last month that I have my entire life.
I'm entirely content.
I care what people think about me, I always have, it's the way I'm built. Since my relapse in 2007 I've tried to shove whatever sobriety I had in the faces of all of my family and friends, whenever I felt like I could get away with it, I tried to. Now, it's the only thing in my life that I can say without reservation, I, 100%, do not give a shit what you, or anyone thinks about my sobriety, drinking or alcoholism. I have 200 days because I wanted each one of them. I still care about what everyone thinks of me in every other part of my life... just not here. This 200 days is about discipline, effort and accountability. I'm grateful for each one.
Be a part of my life, or don't, your choices are yours and mine are mine, we have no control over each other at all. The sooner we all come to grips with that the happier we will be. When I started focusing wholly on the things I knew I had control of I started feeling better. Sometimes there are things we might be able to control, but the efforts to do so are exhausting and rarely worth it.
The serenity prayer, it's missing something, like a guidebook. *Light bulb*
If there is any doubt, at all, about whether or not you can control something, just let it go.
Love.
Tyler
<3
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